Why Parents go Crazy When Their Triplet Children are Teenagers

If I hadn’t gone crazy by the time my children had gotten to be teenagers, these years would put me in the funny farm.  My boys are in their senior year of high school.  This morning was one of those mornings that make me want to join a convent.  It’s a good thing Lutherans don’t have nuns.

To set the scene:  Three Speed has a paper due for his college English class this evening.  He never gets them done on the weekend.  He seems to like to get up Monday morning at 5:30 AM and do the work when the house is quiet.  He sleeps on the couch downstairs instead of his bed.  I think this is so he will get up.

I was taking my pills before I went up to bed last night.  I turned off the TV before I went upstairs.  I usually leave it on all night.  This was probably the major problem.

Mr. Impatient gets up at 4:30 AM every day.  If the TV isn’t on, he turns it on.  Then he turns on his computer, gets his breakfast and plays on the computer until the rest of us are up and ready to go to school in the morning.  We are normally ready around 7:15 AM.   He goes out about 7:00 to “start the car” and defrost it, if necessary.  Then he perseverates about why nobody else is ready to leave.

This morning, Mr. Impatient woke up Three Speed when he turned on the TV.  Three Speed got upset and turned it off.  He said it wasn’t 5:30 yet.  He was correct about that, but he is never up at 4:30 when Mr. Impatient comes down.  He said Mr. Impatient always comes down at 5:30 (incorrect statement). 

There is a problem with the remotes for the cable and the TV (different remotes – don’t ask).  Mr. Impatient can’t figure them out.  Three Speed got his stubborn up and wouldn’t fix it.  I came downstairs without my glasses, so couldn’t see the remotes well enough to fix it.  Mr. Impatient couldn’t find my glasses upstairs.  I can’t get my knees working well enough for a couple of hours after I wake up to go up and down the stairs very fast. 

I finally convinced Three Speed to turn on the TV so I could go back to bed.  Mr. Impatient didn’t need it loud, he just needed it on.  Now I can’t think straight at 2:00 PM.

Congratulations, Eagles on State Championships in Basketball!!!!!

They Never Grow Up

I was running errands with two of my 17 year olds this afternoon.  We stopped at McDonalds to get something to eat.  From the passenger’s seat came a small voice, “Can I have a Star Wars toy, Mom?”

I turned to the speaker and said, “…and two Star Wars toys, please.” 

Then I asked the “child” in the back seat if he wanted one.  “No, Mom.” 

You see, I knew if I came home with one for the kid in the car, the one at home would pout all evening.  Not gonna live with that. 

They never grow up.

Inside a Toddler's Brain

This image is courtesy my friend Maureen A. Doolan Boyle

of MOST (Mothers of SuperTwins - an organization for parents of multiple children).  The image comes from ALEX Toys.

National Prematurity Awareness Day

Today is National Prematurity Awareness Day.  This was passed on to me by MOST.  MOST stands for Mothers Of SuperTwins, an organization that supports parents of triplets and more.  Our pregnancies are at high risk for early delivery with all the problems that ensue. 

We end up on bedrest a lot.  We have premature labor.  There is a high risk of miscarriage and pregnancy loss.  As a general rule, the more babies, the earlier the delivery.

My triplets were almost 35 weeks.  They didn’t have any breathing problems.  They did have some feeding problems.  They came home when they were nine days old. 

Now is a good time to thank my doctors and friends for helping me through all of that.  My Mom was awesome.  I learned a lot from her.  My husband put up with all my moods, my hot flashes and my insomnia. 

My boys are now 17.  They show no sign of being 4 ½ pounds at birth.  They are seniors in high school.  Wow.  Who would have thunk it?

Triplet Stuff 3 - “No Way Are You Triplets”

My kids told me the funniest story the other day.  They had a band classmate who absolutely could not believe that they were triplets.  All the other kids who have known them for years know all three of the brothers and have no problems with this.  They have been to the birthday parties, seen them in the various grades together, etc.  This young lady had not.  She believed the boys were brothers, but not triplets!

Two of the boys are in the band.  That would be Three Speed and Tall Guy.  Mr. Impatient came back to the band room because they were going to leave from there since the boys had my car.  The band director actually let Mr. Impatient direct the Jazz band for a while.  I understand he did a good job.  Since he has been informally conducting since he was a year and a half old, I’m not surprised.  He just needed to get the time signature, and he was off……

Anyway, there was actually some pulling out of wallets and drivers’ licenses and kids swearing they had known the boys since they were little….  Finally the band director told her that it was indeed true.  Even though they don’t look alike, they are triplets.

I asked if they needed a note from their Mom or a picture from when they were babies.  They said they thought they had gotten her convinced.   

Triplet Stuff 2 - Same Classroom or Not?

This is a dilemma that is faced by every parent who has multiple children entering the same grade.  Do you put your children in the same classroom or not?

I think the answer varies from family to family and from child to child.  It also varied for us from year to year and from child to child.  So, for me, the answer is a big maybe.  Here are some of the reasons why.

1.     One of my sons is autistic.   When he was small, most of his learning was in a special education environment.  He needed to be separated from his brothers so they did not feel the need to “care” for him. 

2.     When my boys were very small (preschool), they seemed to need to be near each other.  Besides:

3.     There was only one preschool classroom for the 3 year olds, 4 year olds, etc.  By necessity, they had to be in the same class.  When the kids entered regular school, there were multiple classrooms of the same age children. We could then decide.

4.     Some schools have a policy about twins and more.  Ours did not.  I would use that as a guideline.  If you feel that you need to do something different for your children, push to do what’s best.  I have always done this for my kids.  I call it “being a Mom”.

5.     When my boys were in kindergarten, one of them was much more advanced at reading.  The other was much more advanced in math.  Evidently they made a pact between the two of them that one of them would do the reading and the other would do the math.  This is when we decided that perhaps it would be a good idea to separate them for a while.  They weren’t too happy.  I think they had become too dependent on each other. 

6.     Another issue can be jealousy or competition.  Some children do not do well if one of the others is better at something.  While they do need to learn to deal with this, it can be better to have them in separate classrooms for a while for parent sanity.  The only insane part of this was having the same spelling list three weeks in a row.  Of course, running through the same spelling list with three children the same week wasn’t much better!

7.     Remember that the school counselors, teachers and administration have probably “been there” before.  Most of the time they are willing to help you work it out if you go in with a positive attitude that we are all there to help the children.

8.     As the children advance in school, there will be classes that are only offered once a day.  For example, there is only one section of marching band. (Go, Eagles!) Two of them are in the band.   Since they have opted to play different instruments, they don’t sit next to each other.  The other one and I are the cheering section.  Mr. Lasermed is president of Band Boosters this year.  I think he lives in the concession stand.

The moral of this whole story is that it is important to be flexible and to do what feels right for your children.  What worked for my kids might not work for yours.  It’s also helpful to take advice from other moms and from educators.  Listen to your kids, too.  The whole goal is to get them the best education that we can with the least amount of stress for everyone. 

Identical vs Fraternal Twins (or Triplets)

The definitive article (because I wrote it!!!!!).  It was published on Shine. 

http://shine.yahoo.com/event/yahoocontributornetwork/making-sense-of-multiple-birth-babies-identical-or-fraternal-2584864

Enjoy!

Parenting Triplet Babies – 2

Feeding Time

I had a pediatrician who made the comment about one of my children: “If he doesn’t want to eat, don’t feed him.”  I believe the doc was implying that my child was overweight.

My babies started out a bit on the scrawny side, at about 4 ½ pounds each, and 18 ½ inches long.  They were 6 weeks early, but did well.  Once they figured out how to eat (a common problem with preemies), they haven’t stopped.

I NEVER played those “airplane” games, or any other games with my kids once they had learned to eat.  I took home one of my exam stools from my office.  I lined the boys up in their high chairs.  I had one bowl and one spoon. 

Whoever was on the left got the first spoonful.  I moved down the line.  By the time I got to the end, the first guy was ready again.  When the mouth didn’t open, I figured the little “monkey” – er – “angel” was finished eating, and skipped him.  When no more mouths opened, we were done.  Mouths and fingers got washed, they got down and we went on to the next thing.

I guess you can imagine the look on my face when the pediatrician said what he said.  Force feed a child?  Who on earth had time for that????????  What was he thinking?  I believe my jaw hit the floor!  It still makes my brain hurt.

I was never so happy as when they figured out how to hold a spoon or hit their mouths with those Cheerios!

Adventures in Parenting Triplet Babies 1

The Saga of Baby Shots and Tylenol

One day when the boys were tiny, we took them to the pediatrician for shots.  My smart, experienced younger sister had told me that it was a good idea to give them Tylenol before they get shots.  She would probably want me to add that she is also elegant, beautiful and a whole bunch of other things, but I’ll stick to smart and experienced.  Love ya, G.

 I listened to her for two very good reasons.  First, she had three children of her own.  Second, and not necessarily more important, she is a registered nurse. 

So, I gave them all Tylenol before the pediatrician’s office, and off we went.  Now, here’s where I made my mistake.  I told the pediatrician what I had done.  He told me that you don’t know whether or not the babies are going to have a reaction to their shots, and shouldn’t give them anything before hand.  Soooooooo….

I let the Tylenol wear off.  This was after my husband left to go to the grocery store or someplace equally selfish.  I say this because, while he was gone, I found out that my children did, indeed, need Tylenol round the clock for about twenty four hours after shots.  It wore off at the same time for all three babies.  I had three screaming infants waiting for their new dose of Tylenol to hit. 

I was in tears, rocking them, singing to them, and promised that I would never listen to that evil pediatrician again when it came to giving them the lovely purple medicine that made them feel good. 

I learned lots of lessons that day.

Triplet Stuff #1

Why Did You Have Them So Close Together?

My triplets are fraternal.  That means that they all developed from different eggs.  That happens sometimes when you have in vitro fertilization, or even when you don’t, and have multiples.  Anyway, they are genetically as different as if they were from different pregnancies.

They look like brothers, but are slightly different in size and weight.  They have looked like “stair-steps” since they were preschoolers.  I loved the question from the elderly woman who wanted to know “why did you have them so close together?”

Later on, Mr. Lasermed decided on what we now think is the best answer:

Because once the first one came out, the others wouldn’t stay in!

(Triplet parents are welcome to give me other answers)

The Triplet Pile On

          The first day of school has me going down memory lane.  When my boys were little, I would come home to an enthusiastic greeting.  Three toddlers would wobble across the room as fast as their little legs could carry them.  It became a “hug Mom” fest. 

          Then it became a “climb Mom” fest.  I had little bruises all over my legs and torso from where their toes dug into my flesh.  I quickly learned to sit down on the floor.

          We had “pile on Mom”.  It came with lots of giggles, hugs and tickles.  I loved it. 

          I miss it now.  But the boys are all taller than I am.  Giggles are now baritone and bass.  I still get hugs.  Sometimes they are group hugs.  Now if I could just get them to use that baby lotion again.  Aahhh, that lovely baby smell…..